worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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