Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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