their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you would pick up someone in the library
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
