hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
