Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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