Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
