Its about making memories worth repressing
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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