i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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