bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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