Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
