dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
