They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
