My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
