I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
