I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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