STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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