Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
