Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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