You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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