watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
