During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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