You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
