I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
