So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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