I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
