Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
is wine microwaveable?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
