Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
