"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
