i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
