Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
