Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
