When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
