You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
