I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
