Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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