I don't think brook has ever known best
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
