Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
