Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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