Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
