You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
