the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
PANTIES FOUND
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