dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
