He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
