I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
