The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
