Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
