Having a random hookup so left but love u
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
