I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
