oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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