I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
