Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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